A Scout is ...

A Scout is ... | collage (4 pieces)

A Scout is ... Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

If you've visited this blog then you've probably seen this collage before ... it is one of my favorites, and has a good bit of meaning to me. Lately, I have been thinking about growth, and what exactly constitutes manhood. I was brought up in a family of Boy Scouts, and the above "Scout Law" is what we learned to recite and hold close to our vests. It was our guide. In the next few months I am going to attempt to explore these laws in a bit more detail, because to be honest, I think there is a lot missing from the Scout Law, especially related to a young man's growth.

As I get older and closer and closer to a "father's age", I realize that (for many) Scouts was sometimes a way to keep young men busy on weekends, and in other ways it acted as a substitute parent(s) when there were none around on a regular basis. I also realize that I myself learned to be all of the above. I was the Scout Law (except maybe the thrifty and reverent part. I tried). I became the good guy. I'm good at it. As good as good is, it can also be a killer to some very important aspects of life. Adult relationships are directly affected by being the "Good Boy Scout". What about the words not included in the Scout Law? Traits such as Strong, Assertive, Passionate, Intimate, Forthright, Sexual, Confident, Interesting, Humorous, Fatherly ... ?

Don't get me wrong, Scouting teaches many positive lessons. Because of my time in Scouting I can now start a fire quickly, survive being lost, read a map, tie 30-odd knots, drive anything with a motor, sleep in the woods, whittle, make a splint, lash things together, hunt, fish, identify birds and trees, etc, etc... but the older I get, the more I realize that the other skills of manhood, and perhaps the more important ones, were not covered in the Boy Scout Handbook. So, if you didn't get them at home, then well, you didn't get them at all, but by experiencing them first hand some time down the road. Hard lessons at times. It makes me wonder if those hard lessons couldn't be softened by a more well-rounded and inclusive Scout Law.

I am not a writer by trade, so bear with me here. I am, however, a man in his 30's struggling through issues that so many men have in common, and sometimes say nothing about: poor communication skills, relationship problems, stumbling career choices, confidence issues, and wanting/needing to make sense of it all before age takes over and we lose extremely valuable relationships because of indecision and confusion (at least for me, I'm not speaking for all men of course).

*Stay tuned ... I'll give it a shot.

(*I realize not many folks read this blog, so this is a bit of a rough draft space, and a venue for me to write, and perhaps for these ramblings to evolve into a series of essays for a future project. I also realize it may be TMI, but hey, it's my blog, right?)